Losing Leah Read online

  Before I started my schoolwork, I sat with Daisy on my lap and whispered my plans into her hand-drawn ear. Daisy didn’t cast judgment. She knew I would get into a lot of trouble if I was caught, but she also didn’t tell me not to do it. That was why she was my best friend. She understood me.

  Daisy sat with me while I did my schoolwork and while I finished another book. It was an epic fantasy novel that hooked me instantly.

  “I’ll clean up as soon as I finish,” I told Daisy who smiled back. I forgot about my plan for the evening while I lost myself in a world that was completely different from my own. A world with dragons and sorcerers and one brave girl who held the key to saving the kingdom. The story was layered and intense and I felt a great loss when I turned the last page.

  I sat on the couch after I closed the book. “Can you believe that, Daisy?” I asked, reliving the ending in my mind. I was so lost in thought I completely lost track of time until the sound of the lowering dumbwaiter jerked me out of my reverie. Fear sliced through me as I scanned my room. My schoolbooks were still laid out on the couch, Daisy was smiling beside me, and my book still sat in my hands. I scrambled to my feet and stacked my books quickly, placing them on my desk. I heard the locks above me being disengaged just as I picked up my mess from lunch and rushed it across the room to the trash can. Glancing around the room one last time, I felt confident everything was where it should be. The door opened at the top of the stairs and my heart dropped to my toes when I spotted Daisy on the floor in front of the couch.

  Mother was coming. I could hear her footsteps. She would see Daisy and punish me. Racing across the room, I scooped Daisy up and leapt onto the couch, shoving her deep into the cushions just as Mother reached the last step. A thin line of sweat trickled from my neck and down the back of my shirt. My breath was slightly labored, but I forced myself to breath evenly. I wasn’t used to so much exertion.

  “Leah?” Mother questioned critically as she rounded the staircase and looked at me.

  I didn’t need a mirror to know that my face was flushed. My heart raced from the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Mother was sure to suspect I was up to something. “Yes, ma’am,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. My shoulders tensed, knowing how angry she would get if she thought I was hiding something.

  “Are you feeling okay? You look peaked.”

  Peaked? I thought, relieved. That would work. I could do sick. It wouldn’t even be a lie. At the moment I felt sick. My stomach was twisted in knots and my skin felt clammy. Even my head felt fuzzy. Maybe I really was sick. “Not really,” I answered, lying back against the couch cushions. The dizzy feeling abated and the churning in my stomach loosened slightly.

  “Damn. The flu is going around at the hospital. I might have brought it home with me. You should get in bed,” she instructed, squirting sanitizer in her hands before placing her wrist on my forehead. “You’re not warm, but you feel clammy. It’s probably the flu. Bed,” she instructed.

  I nodded, sagging with relief. As I stood up the room spun slightly and I almost believed that I was really sick.

  Mother clucked over me as I climbed into bed. “My poor girl,” she said, smoothing a hand over my hair. I sighed with pleasure. “I’m going to go make you some soup.”

  “Thank you.” I made my voice sound pitiful, almost fooling myself. Her footsteps faded as she climbed the steps. The locks were engaged and I could hear the dumbwaiter rising. Only when I heard her rustling around in the kitchen above did my heartbeat return to its normal rhythm. That was a close call that had the potential of going so much differently. My mistake today could never be repeated. What if Mother would have suspected something more? What if she had decided to search my room? I worked hard to cover all traces of what I’d been up to, but she could figure it out. I could not be so stupid again.

  Mother returned shortly with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I obediently opened my mouth as she spooned the hot soup into my mouth. I could have fed myself, but I knew it brought her pleasure to take care of me. Considering the close call I’d narrowly escaped, I accepted the soup without complaint.

  “I knew I should have brought home a flu shot for you,” Mother commented, catching a drop of the soup with the spoon.

  “That’s okay,” I answered. “It’s not too bad.”

  “You should stay in bed and rest tonight and tomorrow,” she instructed, giving me a sip of juice.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Good girl. I’ll check on you in the morning.”

  “Thank you, Mother,” I said, closing my eyes, hoping maybe she had forgotten about the little white pill. Chances were I was setting myself up for disappointment.

  I felt the bed dip as she stood up and I forced myself to breathe evenly. She probably just left the pill upstairs and planned to return with it. I wasn’t in the clear yet. Her steps paused on the stairs. She could have been listening, waiting to catch me faking. I had no way of knowing for sure. The lock on the door upstairs disengaged and the lights went out to the sound of the door being closed and locked. My eyelids flew open. Either she really had forgotten or she thought my sickness would make me sleep without the assistance of the pill. I decided to do things differently. I needed to make myself stronger. Continuing to be weak would only hurt me in the long run. My other plans would have to be pushed to the side.

  The darkness held me in its embrace while I waited for the sound of Mother leaving for work. The wait would be longer since I’d gone to bed earlier than usual. I was patient though. Without the effects of the pills, I could wait all night if that’s what it took. Tonight I would start the process of becoming someone else.

  5

  MIA

  “COME ON, Mia. Don’t be a wuss,” Amber said in a loud whisper.

  I jerked my head around to make sure the house was still dark behind me. “I’m not. Can a girl even be a wuss?” I muttered, eyeing the pile of clothes at my feet. This was a ridiculous idea. We’d be in a shitload of trouble if we got caught. I should have vetoed the idea immediately after Amber suggested it, but we were all still riding high from our victory. The Winter Park football team was sent home with their asses handed to them after Luke scored two more touchdowns, winning us the game.

  We were all trying to come up with an epic way to celebrate when Amber suggested skinny-dipping in Principal Trout’s swimming pool. It sounded like a brilliant idea at Steak ’n Shake, but once we actually got to his house, common sense took over, for me at least. The house was dark, but the two cars in the driveway were a clear indicator that it wasn’t empty. Luke and Anthony boosted us up over the wooden fence even though I was starting to balk.

  “Come on, Mia. The water feels great,” Luke said, quietly swimming to the edge where I stood. Thankfully the pool was dark, hiding the fact that he was completely nude. Luke and I hadn’t taken our relationship to the next level yet and I wasn’t ready to change that any time soon.

  “Fine, but you guys have to turn around until I get in,” I instructed.

  His white teeth seemed to glow in the dark as he beamed up at me. “Done,” he said, giving Anthony the same instruction.

  Feeling like a fool, I shimmied out of my shorts and panties at the same time. Taking a peek over my shoulder at the house behind me, I pulled my T-shirt off up over my head and unclasped my bra, tossing them both on the stack of clothes at my feet. Suddenly I was out there, more than I had ever been. Goose bumps formed on my arms from the cool nighttime air. With my arms folded across my chest, I stepped into the shallow end of the pool. The water was warmer than the air outside as I waded in up to my chin.

  “Okay, you can turn around” I whispered, treading water.

  Luke swam toward me, smiling broadly. “Told you it felt nice,” he said, reaching for my hand and tugging me toward him.

  “You were right. I still think we’re crazy though, especially you. If we get caught, Principal Trout can have you thrown off the team.”

  He chuckled. �
�Be honest. You’re more worried about getting expelled,” he teased, pulling me closer. The water was too deep for me to stand so I clung to his shoulders, trying to ignore the close proximity of our bodies. My eyes moved to the deep end of the pool where Amber and Anthony were clearly doing more than talking.

  “They’re too busy to worry about us,” Luke murmured, dipping his head down. I sighed as his lips moved softly against mine, gently coaxing them to open. I let his tongue sweep inside my mouth, shivering at the sensations that raced up my spine. Luke and I had made out plenty of times over the past six months, but the absence of clothing made this far more intimate. I tried to keep a small measure of distance between us, but my legs seemed to float toward him on their own. Luke deepened the kiss. I gripped his shoulders, trying to hold myself in place. His tongue teased mine as his hands settled on my waist.

  I broke away for a moment, surprised at how breathless I felt. Kissing Luke was always pleasant. Luke seemed to respect my boundaries. Amber lost her virginity over a year ago and had been on a nonstop sexual roller coaster since. Every single guy she dated expected it now. I didn’t want Luke and me to get to that point.

  Our spur of the moment skinny-dipping though had me thinking otherwise. I could tell by the look in Luke’s eyes that he was expecting me to pull away. Oddly, I didn’t want to. It felt good to be in his arms. Before Luke and I started dating, the only person who ever hugged me was Amber. Jacob and I tried a few times, but Mom and Dad weren’t the affectionate type, especially after Leah disappeared. It just never felt comfortable.

  Being in the pool, on the other hand, felt right. Even the darkness was less frightening wrapped in Luke’s arms. I surprised Luke by looping my arms around his neck, allowing my body to drift closer until our legs tangled together. His eyes darkened. He liked it. It felt triumphant. Like when I aced a test. He lowered his head, ready to claim my lips again when a flash of movement in the trees at the back of the property grabbed my attention.

  “Something wrong?” Luke asked when my head snapped backward. I stretched my neck, trying to peer around him. I knew what it was. A scream clawed its way up my chest as my eyes finally made out the hulking shape of a thick cloud of darkness rising from the shadows. It glided toward us, zeroing in on me. My head pounded as I reached for my temples. Why was it following me? I knew without a doubt that it was here to swallow me up.

  A scream broke free from my chest, moving up to my vocal cords and escaping like a siren. Luke looked horrified. I could see his lips moving, but his voice was muted. His head whipped around, looking more concerned about the noise I was making than the dark cloud creeping past the edge of the pool.

  Amber swam frantically to my side. I thought she would have been as terrified as I was, but even she seemed unconcerned about the ominous cloud that had disappeared back into the trees. I couldn’t trust it though. I wouldn’t. Luke grabbed my shoulders, distorting my screams as he shook me in an attempt to calm me down. He was right in my face, but I still couldn’t hear him. We had to leave, to run and save ourselves. They would know this if they would stop worrying about me and see what was right in front of their eyes.

  Lights came on, flooding the backyard. I looked in every direction, searching for any evidence of the monster that had tried to take me. My head pounded and I could barely see. Even in the light there was nothing but a few palm trees and a fire pit surrounded by lawn chairs. Where had it gone? Was it in the water with us? I jumped back in a panic. Looking up, I saw that we were no longer alone. The darkness was long gone, but our angry principal had taken its place.

  Principal Trout was not happy to find four of his students naked in his swimming pool. Neither was his wife for that matter. Amber was convinced that if not for my freakish meltdown he would have called the cops. I lied, claiming I had seen someone peeking at us over the fence. Of course what I didn’t mention was my freak show imagination and the sinister dark cloud of nothingness coming for me. It sounded ridiculous enough in my own head. If I voiced the truth they would think I had totally gone off the deep end. It was bad enough that I believed it myself.

  Principal Trout gave us a stern lecture while his wife passed out towels. His face was practically purple as he threatened expulsion and calling our parents. Luckily, in the end, Mrs. Trout persuaded him to let us off, reminding him how he had done similar things at our age. He grumbled something about those being different times, but grudgingly agreed to let us go. Mrs. Trout allowed us to get dressed in the house and then we did the walk of shame out the front door. My friends didn’t say a word as we shuffled out the door. I couldn’t blame them if they wanted to kick my ass. It was completely my fault we got caught.

  My friends’ reactions were the opposite of what I expected. When we got in the car they all burst out laughing hysterically. Our exploit had already reached epic status in their eyes. The fact that we had gotten away with Principal Trout seeing us all buck naked and me going batshit crazy seemed to pump them up even more. As a matter of fact, Amber and Anthony never mentioned my screaming fit before Luke dropped them off. All they seemed to care about was that we’d pulled off the ultimate stunt. Anthony had even taken a few pictures in the pool to prove it. I shuddered at the thought of them.

  Luke pulled up in front of my house and turned off his car to talk to me. “Are you okay? You were pretty freaked out back there.” He laced his fingers through mine and kissed the backs of my knuckles.

  I nodded. It was beyond embarrassing to even think about it. “I guess it was like a knee-jerk thing, or whatever. Seeing some pervert spying on us totally scared me.” The excuse sounded lame. There was showing concern when you saw someone peeping at you, and then there was losing your shit like a ghost had just floated out of the bushes. The two were easily distinguishable and I had done the latter.

  Luke stroked his hands down my arms, rubbing and kneading them with his long fingers. It was comforting and one of the reasons I was so hung up on him. Luke had a sixth sense of knowing what I needed. All his concern was centered on me. A normal guy would have probably tried to make me feel bad for what happened. I could have gotten us in a lot of trouble. We were lucky that Principal Trout was a football fan, and that his wife had been so understanding. “I’m sorry you were so scared,” Luke said. “If I would have seen him, I would have knocked his damn lights out. Nobody scares my girl.” His hands moved up to stroke my neck. “Of course, I can’t say I blame him for trying to catch a look,” he said huskily.

  I smiled. “Is that your way of telling me you snuck a peek?”

  “I plead the Fifth,” he said, leaning in to kiss me.

  I laughed against his lips. It was sweet of Luke to try and make me feel better. His gentle concern for my well-being was comforting, like eating chocolate when you were stressed out. He pecked at my lips with soft butterfly kisses, moving down to my chin and across my jawline. Every touch to my skin left a trail of warm, tinkling pleasure that made me want to pull him closer. He was tender and careful not to become demanding. Tonight though, I didn’t want tender. I wanted a real kiss. Something that would tease every nerve ending in my body and take me right to the edge. I slid my hand across his chest, yanking at his shirt to urge him to kiss me harder. I wanted to forget about monsters, shadows, and darkness. I wanted to feel safe. Luke shifted toward me in his seat. He had to be confused. I had never been this aggressive before.

  We slid our bodies together as close as the middle console would allow. The emergency brake dug into my side, but I ignored it. Our hands moved with a purpose over each other. “I love you, Mia,” Luke moaned, pulling away slightly. “You’re killing me though.” We were both gasping like we’d run a marathon. My chest pounded so hard I thought my heart would explode.

  “I love you too. Was that too much?” I asked reluctantly. Luke was cool in the way he respected my boundaries, but I wasn’t clueless when it came to guys. Eventually he would probably get sick of waiting for me to give him something I wasn’t sure I was
ready for.

  “You surprised me, I’ll say that. I meant what I said though. I do love you.”

  He squeezed my hand as I opened the car door, peering out into the dark. In my current state of mind I couldn’t help staring at the trees and bushes around the house, expecting the shadows to reach out and grab me.

  “Do you want me to walk you to your front door?” Luke asked when I hesitated.

  I shook my head. My house was out-of-bounds. I never invited anyone inside. Even in all the years Amber and I had been friends, she had never been in my house. It wasn’t only me either. We never had company of any kind over. We were a broken family that had never been repaired. Plain and simple.

  “That’s okay. I’m fine,” I lied, forcing myself to get out of the car. I felt like I was losing control. The problem was I couldn’t decide which scenario was more desirable—some kind of shadow monster that really existed and was hunting me, or imagining the whole thing because I was either having a nervous breakdown or maybe even had a brain tumor or something. Either way, I felt I was screwed.

  Luke waited for me to unlock my front door before pulling away. I threw a wave over my shoulder as I walked inside. The downstairs area of the house was dark and closed up for the evening. As I dropped my keys on the side table and walked upstairs, I could hear my parents’ muted voices coming from their room. I paused as I walked by, staring at the light shining under the door. My hand hovered over the doorknob, tempting me to walk in. I thought about crawling onto Mom’s lap like I used to as a little girl after having a nightmare. I wanted to snuggle next to Dad, so he could hold me close and reassure me that monsters weren’t real, that they weren’t lurking under my bed or hiding in the shadows. It was a nice fantasy, but Dad stopped chasing monsters away ten years ago. Everything changed the day Leah disappeared.