Jordyn Read online

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  Having an aunt and uncle who were kickass angels that visited the heavenly realm periodically was a tough act to follow. Even worse though was watching my friend Lynn reap the benefits of the bond that I just couldn't really understand. Loving someone unconditionally in that way was foreign to me. I've never come close to feeling that way about anyone. I adored Lynn to death, but obviously that was different. Plus, I never understood the sensitivity to emotions. All I know is it sucked when she told me she had to join Robert on some mission that had gotten out of hand. The Link they shared was a major pain in my ass. It had me thinking Mark's father, Victor, may have been right in resenting the whole Link thing.

  In essence Victor did accomplish what he wanted. He'd managed to destroy the lineage in our Bands forever. I had no Link, and Logan, my distant cousin, had lost his Link before she was even born. Her mom died when she was pregnant, and from what I understand, the new generation of Guides and Protectors would be unable to conceive. I knew my Aunt Krista and her best friend, Sam, had been devastated when they found out. It was just another decision The Light had made without any consideration for those involved. Haniel said it was for the best, but seeing the pain on my aunt's face anytime she saw a baby made me call bullshit on that. Because of Victor, eventually the Links would cease to exist.

  I pulled up behind my aunt's SUV and watched as Haniel disappeared from the front seat only to reappear outside the car in the blink of an eye. It was a cool trick, but I'd seen it a hundred times, so I really paid no attention as we headed up the cobblestone path toward the pretty beach cottage my aunt and uncle had painstakingly designed and built last year. The property had been in the family for years, but the previous house held bad memories for my aunt and uncle, so they finally decided to bulldoze everything and start over.

  I was sliding my key into the lock when the front door swung open. The tall imposing stature of my uncle filled the doorway. The disappointment on his face said it all, but I raised my chin in defiance and swept past him. He could sigh all he wanted, I wasn't going to buckle. One way or another, I was going to get some independence here.

  "Jordyn, are you okay?" my aunt asked, gathering me into her arms.

  I hugged her back for a moment before stiffening up. "Krista, I'm fine. It was just two measly Daemons. I could've taken them with my eyes closed. "

  "Jordyn, Guides and Protectors have lost their lives battling two Daemons at once. You could have died. "

  "Gah, Krista, chill. They can't even touch me without becoming a fireball, let alone the fact that I majorly kicked their asses," I said, sinking down on my uncle's beat-up leather mess of a chair that he wouldn't allow my aunt to throw out.

  "Jordyn, we've told you hundreds of times, one of these days they may figure out how to get past your defenses," she said, pacing back and forth.

  "Haniel, how likely is that?" I implored my mentor.

  "The likelihood is negative," he answered, confirming my statement.

  I smirked and settled back in my seat, feeling self-satisfied.

  "That does not mean one should not proceed cautiously," Haniel clarified, wiping the smirk off my face.

  "Jordyn, your aunt and I are concerned about your attitude," my uncle said, pulling up a dining room chair in front of me. "We know it's not easy being different. We've all suffered from our abnormalities over the years. "

  I couldn't help snorting at his words. "Mark, you just don't get it," I said, finally fed up with the comparisons. They all had each other. They had their memories. They knew where they'd come from.

  "Jordyn, I didn't know this was still bugging you," my aunt said concerned.

  "How can it not?" I answered, aggravated. "I get it, okay? You guys are some mystical heavenly beings, but at least you know where you came from. What do I know? Frick all, that's what. I have one friend, Lynn, and she's always gone," I said in a huff with my words running together. "Oh, and did I mention that my mentor is an Arch Angel?" I added sarcastically before anyone could interject again.

  "Jordyn, I know it's hard to be different. I spent the first seventeen years of my life thinking I was a freak. I could feel the emotions of everyone around me, got insanely sick if the emotions were too strong, and dreamed about some guy I didn't think existed," Krista said, shooting my uncle a small smile.

  "Don't forget, I had to deal with the fact that my dad was a murderer, and that he not only ruined my life, but the lives of my friends," my uncle reminded me quietly.

  "I get all of that too, but in the end, you guys found each other. You won. You conquered evil. When do I get a turn? We all know there's no link for me. You tell me you don't want me to date now. So, what, am I supposed to die as a big V?" I said dramatically.

  They exchanged a look at my words.

  "Seriously?" I asked, jumping to my feet to resume the pacing Krista had abandoned. "Virgin, okay? Virgin. "

  "We know what you meant, we just want you to wait," Mark said, trying to pacify me.

  "It's not like I'm going to go backseat diving on the first date," I said, trying to hide my smile of satisfaction as my uncle's face turned a delicate shade of pink.

  "Backseat diving?" Haniel asked, confused over the new phrase outside his human vocabulary.

  "You know, making out with some guy in the backseat of his car," I explained. "Kissing, touching, removal of clothes…"

  "We get the point," Krista said, covering up her own chuckle as Mark's pink skin escalated to a nice shade of purple. "Jordyn, it's really not nice to do that to your uncle. "

  I couldn't help joining in her laughter as Haniel and Mark looked at us like we were nuts. After a few minutes, I finally sobered up and returned to the root of the whole blow up that night.

  "If I can't be like you guys, then I at least want to be like humans," I said, sitting back down. "I hate this in-between crap. I just want to belong somewhere," I said as uncharacteristic tears gathered in the corner of my eyes. "Don't you see? I want to fit in somewhere. "

  "You do, Jordyn," Krista said, kneeling down in front of me. "You fit in with us. You're special. The Light has an important plan for you. You just have to be patient and trust us," she said, reaching up to stroke my newly dyed black hair. I knew the color change bothered her, but it was my big act of defiant protest after Lynn left yet again. "Trust me, okay?" she said, cupping my face in her hands.

  I nodded. I said my piece and the rest could wait.

  "Now, tell me about what happened on the beach," she said, perching on Mark's leg as he snaked an arm around her waist to anchor her in place.

  Haniel moved away from his location by the wall and stood in the center of the room while I filled them in on what had happened. I told them how I had sensed the Daemons and tracked them to where Homeless Joe hung out. I gave the details how I had taken them out swiftly and effortlessly without a single injury. Mark and Haniel peppered me with questions about my strategy and both looked satisfied as they exchanged looks. This was the first time I'd battled Daemons without Haniel on hand to lend assistance if need be. Finally, I got to the part about Emrys.

  "What exactly is a Soul Trader?" I asked the now silent room.

  After a moment, Krista finally answered. "A Soul Trader takes the souls before The Light or anyone else can. "

  "Takes them where?" I asked, wondering why I'm just now finding out about this. They needed to seriously work on keeping me in the loop.

  "It's loosely called the Between. Some souls are stuck between heaven and hell. Soul Traders find them and deliver them for judgment," Mark said gravely, looking at Haniel for affirmation.

  "But how can they do that? I thought it's already been decided before you die. "

  "For some, yes, but others are considered questionable. After the earthly body has perished, the souls are brought to judgment where the rightful path for afterlife is decided," Haniel answered in his typical no-nonsense way.
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br />   "And Soul Traders take them to this judgment? But why? Why bother?" I asked, not totally getting it.

  "As it is in the earthly realm, free will govern one's path," Haniel explained.

  "What are you saying? They get to choose whether they go to heaven or hell?" I asked, still confused.

  "In a way, yes. "

  "OMG, I still don't get it," I griped.

  "Haniel, if I may?" Mark gestured. "Jordyn, it's complicated, but what Haniel means is that some souls are not ready to move on for whatever reason. They're not reborn, but they are given a second chance. Their bodies regenerate into the form they were before. "

  "Ewwww, that's freaking gross. What if someone got hit by a car or something?" I said, wrinkling my nose up in disgust.

  Krista laughed at Mark. "Nice try, babe, but you're not doing much better. Their bodies are restored back to their pre-death condition, but it's not like they are now back on earth like regular people. What Mark and Haniel have not explained is that the soul's choice at judgment is to accept the decision to go on to their afterlife destination or become a Soul Trader. "

  "What?" I asked, shaking my head in amazement. "You're saying Soul Traders were once these questionable souls who now work for The Light?"

  "They work neither for The Light nor The Dark One," Haniel intervened.

  "So who's doing the judgment then?" I questioned.

  "Like Mark said, it's complicated," Krista answered. "All you really need to understand is that some souls want a second chance to finish something they started when they were human, while others find it a temporary solution to avoiding hell. "

  "So, you still go to heaven or hell, you just put it off for a while? Sounds weird," I exclaimed. "What about after they get their human form back, do they have powers like you guys do?" I asked, wondering about the green-eyed, rebel-hottie-looking Trader I had left at the Boardwalk. I was relieved that Haniel's and Krista's mind-reading gifts were useless on me.

  "They do have special abilities, but at a price," Haniel interjected. "As long as the Soul Trader performs the duty of collecting souls, actual human shape is retained. As for your other question, if the soul's path was for the heavenly realm, the choice to become a Soul Trader forfeits that right. "

  "Shut up!" I said shocked. "You mean if you become a Soul Trader, you can't go to heaven? How does that make any sense?"

  "It is not for us to question," Haniel answered sternly.

  My stomach twisted around in knots. These people are screwed either way. My thoughts drifted again to the Soul Trader I met tonight. Had he been hell bound? His very existence could go against everything I believed and fought for.

  "Was Emrys hell bound?" I asked, trying to convince myself it didn't matter.

  "That is unknown. All that is certain is he is a Trader, and as such, cannot be trusted. "

  "Sounds like you don't like him much?" I asked Haniel, but he said nothing more.

  I wanted to argue, but I could tell my aunt and Haniel were beginning to look worried at my interest.

  "Jordyn, there is something you must understand. Soul Traders are gifted in the art of persuasion. They use this skill to convince the souls to go with them, but it can also be used on humans. They are extremely dangerous," Haniel said, obviously seeing through my indifference.

  "Gotcha. Soul Trader bad," I said, working to hide my sarcasm. Insanely hot, but bad, I thought. Feeling I had pumped as much information out of them as I was going to get, I made a big production of yawning, giving the impression I was exhausted.

  "I think I'm going to do some backseat diving and then hit the sack," I joked, trying to lighten the tension that had crept into the room.

  "Jordyn," Krista chastised, smothering a laugh as Mark groaned again and dropped his head in his hands.

  "Mark, chillax, dude. I save that for extracurricular activities after school," I sassed as I headed to my room. I could hear Krista's muffled laughter behind me.

  "Teenagers," I heard Mark mutter.

  "That was us just a few years back," Krista reminded him as I closed my bedroom door.

  Grinning wickedly to myself, I kicked off my Converse shoes that never seemed to go out of style, shimmied out of my jeans and shirt, and tossed them in the vicinity of my laundry basket. I opened my pajama drawer and pulled out a pair of cutoff sweats and one of the spaghetti-strapped tank tops I liked to sleep in.

  Once I was dressed in my nightly attire, I plunked down on my lavish high poster bed and leaned back against my mound of pillows. I studied the posters plastered to my ceiling. Steamy guys from all my favorite shows grinned down at me in their hotter-than-sex-on-a-stick way.

  I smiled somewhat grimly when I remembered how appalled my uncle was when I painted my walls deep purple and then proceeded to cover almost every inch of them with posters of hunky men. Being linked to one individual all his life, he'd never felt the sexual appeal of any other individual. Me, I could fantasize about all the hot guys I wanted because I belonged to no one.

  You'd think that idea would give me comfort. After all, it seemed barbaric and degrading to be pretty much arranged to be with one individual. It's not like this was the Middle Ages or something. But when you saw it firsthand, it was anything but that. The Link relationship seemed beautiful and somehow natural.

  I was way too keyed up at this point to sleep. I jumped off my bed and began pacing the floor. My mind was occupied with the same quandary I wrestled with every night. I came from nowhere. I searched my mind day after day for an inkling of my past before Haniel had appeared in the doorway of my hospital room, but all I ever find is a blank slate. Who forgets about their own family, their childhood, where they grew up? I can't tell you what my mother looked like or what cologne my father wore, nothing. I'm like a freak of nature, a lone wolf, a third wheel. Whatever way you diced it, that was me. The anomaly.

  Anomaly. That was Krista and Mark's idea. They thought they were bestowing some freaking cool title on me when they'd discussed my abnormalities with me when I first joined them a year ago without a clue of who I was. Haniel had delivered me to them, claiming I had been in an accident that had resulted in my loss of memory. The whole thing felt like bullshit to me, but he digressed anytime I tried to question him. Krista and Mark welcomed me with open arms even though they had just barely tied the knot. I'm sure having a teenager pawned off on them during the honeymoon glow was a serious mood killer, but neither of them acted like it mattered. They treated me like I belonged. They were wrong though. I didn't fit in with them. I didn't have a Link like everyone else in their group. I didn't have someone who liked to be with me no matter what, even if I was being a brat. I wanted that someone to break up my monotonous dream-free nights that were filled with nothingness. I didn't want to be the freak of the family—but I was. According to Haniel, I had no Protector, and never would. My Protector had died before he was ever thought of, before he was ever conceived. He never existed, which left me the odd man out. I wasn't a Guide, an Ascended, or even really human it seemed. I was basically the heavenly equivalent to the bearded lady you'd find at some carnival.