A Shattered Moment Read online

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  I laced my fingers with Bentley’s, flashing him a weak smile as I led him to the wolves. Mom was sitting at the bay window that overlooked the backyard. It was my favorite spot in the house, especially in the cooler months when I could open the blinds without being baked by the afternoon sun. Dad sat in his recliner, trying to appear casual. I knew he was full of it because he was reading some magazine, which he never did.

  “Mom, Dad, this is my—friend, Bentley,” I said hesitantly. My introduction sounded lame, even to me. It was obvious by the way I was clutching Bentley’s hand that he was more than just a friend. Bentley looked at me like I’d grown two heads.

  Dad stood up to shake his hand. “Bentley, it’s good to meet you. Our girl here seems to think quite highly of you.”

  “Dad?” I warned.

  “Mac?” he returned.

  Bentley squeezed my hand reassuringly as he turned to my mom, who had also risen. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” he answered, shaking my mom’s hand. “I think highly of her, too, so we at least have that in common,” he said, winking at me.

  “That’s good to know,” Dad said, returning to his recliner while Mom sat back on the edge of the window seat. Bentley followed me to the couch. I sat nervously on the edge of the cushion, waiting for the grilling to begin. Bentley, on the other hand, seemed completely relaxed as he sat back on the couch with his arm stretched across the top cushion. He tugged on my shoulder until I was tucked into the crook of his arm. I noticed Mom and Dad exchange a look at the gesture.

  “So, Bentley, what are your plans for the future?” Dad asked in an uncharacteristically stern voice.

  “Dad!” I said, shocked at his directness. Nothing like going for the high-dollar questions first.

  “Sweet pea, it’s not a difficult question.”

  “Maybe not to you. What do you want to know next, when the wedding’s scheduled?” I would have expected a direct question like that from Mom, but Dad had never been the probing type. He’d always been the one to run interference. I thought he would have been my ally in this situation.

  Glancing at Mom, I could see by the look on her face that she had also been taken by surprise. She stood smiling and interrupted Dad by announcing it was time for dessert. “John, why don’t you come help me cut the pies?”

  Dad looked like he wasn’t ready to concede, but Mom gave him no choice, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the kitchen.

  “Oh Lord,” I muttered, dropping my face into my hands. “I’m so sorry.” I peeked at Bentley through my fingers.

  “It’s fine,” he said, rubbing my back. “Your dad is just being a parent. He wants to know that his daughter isn’t dating some deadbeat.”

  I lifted my head. “That is not my father.”

  “What?”

  “I mean, my dad never would have grilled someone like that. It’s like one of those aliens from that movie you and Chad made me watch has taken over his body.”

  “Well, we’ll know if he clutches his stomach during dessert. I’ll save you if something tries to claw its way out.”

  “You joke, but the way he acted, I wouldn’t be surprised. My dad is normally Mr. Laid-Back.” Mom and Dad returned to the living room carrying dessert plates and three different pies Dad had baked earlier in the week.

  Bentley patted my knee before accepting the plate Mom handed him. Dad handed one to me without looking in my direction, which made my glare pretty ineffective. I never thought I would have said this, but thankfully, Mom steered the conversation during dessert, asking Bentley about his classes and where he was from. Eventually, Bentley satisfied my dad by mentioning his job as an EMT. Dad and Mom both looked surprised. Dad’s demeanor changed for whatever reason after that. He seemed genuinely curious about Bentley’s work. I hadn’t mentioned anything about his job when I first told my parents about him. I had myself convinced it wasn’t important, but deep down it was because I didn’t know how to tell them Bentley had been there the night of the accident. I wasn’t sure if that would be a big deal.

  Since it was something that was sure to come up eventually, I told them the whole story. Actually, it was the first time I had really opened up to them about the accident. Mom’s eyes filled with tears, which happened anytime the accident was brought up. Dad’s jaw clenched several times as I told them how Bentley had basically seen me through that dark night. I knew I was probably sharing a little too much with them, overwhelming them with the details I’d kept buried all this time. Over the past year and a half, my answers about the accident had been short and concise. Tanya, of course, knew all the sordid details, but since she was my therapist, it was easier to share those feelings with her. She was an unbiased ear.

  Surprisingly, I didn’t cry as I dumped everything on my shell-shocked parents. Even Bentley was hearing things beyond what he knew from the accident. Tanya would have been proud. Maybe I was getting stronger. A bigger part of me knew it was because of the man sitting next to me.

  I felt guilt ramming out the words. I had most likely spoiled the holiday by letting my diarrhea of the mouth take over, but once I started, it was like a flood gate had opened and I couldn’t stop. Mom got up when I was done talking to give me a tight hug. Her eyes and nose were red from crying, but she managed to give me a watery smile. She gathered our plates and took them to the kitchen, declining my offer of help. Dad reassured me with a smile of his own, telling me she would be okay in a few minutes.

  Dad returned to the person I’d always known him to be, engaging Bentley in sports talk while I took emotional stock of how I felt. I’d pretty much laid my guts out, but I honestly never felt lighter. Bentley was the one I really felt bad for. A simple invitation to dessert to meet the parents had been turned into my version of a Dr. Phil special. If hearing anything I had said bothered him, he hadn’t given any indication.

  After a few minutes, Mom joined us, looking much better. The conversation after that took on a much lighter tone as Dad tried out new jokes on us. Bentley not only laughed, but shared a few funny stories about his childhood. As the evening wore on, I could tell Mom and Dad approved wholeheartedly of Bentley. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He was easy to like.

  “Thank you for tolerating all that,” I told him as I walked him to the door later that evening.

  “All what?” he asked, placing his hands on my hips.

  “Dessert in the nut house.”

  “Please. That was nothing. Wait till I take you to meet my family, then we’ll see who’s nuts. As for the accident stuff, I’m happy you let me listen in. Even seeing it firsthand, there was no way to know how you felt going through that. It killed me to hear it, but it reminded me how strong you are.”

  I blushed slightly. “I’m not nearly as strong as you think.”

  “Whatever, you’re stronger than Mighty Mouse.”

  I shrugged. I think he was putting me on a pedestal I didn’t deserve. So, I’d made it through the accident. That was luck. Besides, I wasn’t the only one, and I’d definitely taken the long way to accepting it.

  “What time should I pick you up tomorrow?” he asked, pulling me closer.

  “What are we doing?”

  “I was thinking we could go see a movie with my family if that’s okay? It’s a tradition for all of us on Black Friday. While everybody else is trying to kill each other over TVs, we go see a movie.”

  “You want me to go to the movies with your family?” I squeaked out.

  “Yes.” His lips dropped softly to mine. It took a little persistence to get me to open my mouth. His kisses had a way of muddling my brain and I was beginning to suspect he knew that. After a moment, I found the willpower to maneuver my hands between us, so I could push him back slightly.

  “I’m not sure I’m ready to meet your parents.”

  “I met yours,” he returned, tilting up my chin so he could claim my lips.

  I allowed the kiss for a moment before pulling back. “True, but you�
�re normal.”

  “You’re normal, too,” he said, holding me by the shoulders.

  “Yeah, but normal enough to meet new people?” I hated to sound insecure, but it was hard enough to feel comfortable with him, let alone his entire family.

  “Trust me. They’re going to love you. How could they not?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. All my baggage?”

  He shook my shoulders lightly. “You have to stop kicking yourself, Mac. How can I make you see what we all see?”

  His voice was kind, but the words were filled with steel. “It might take some brain surgery,” I said. There was a thin line between knowing you had issues and doing something about them, but from my point of view, that line might as well have been the Grand Canyon.

  “Well, I’m an EMT, not a surgeon, but I can get a hammer. How about that?” he joked, pretending to pound my head.

  “I might just let you do that,” I said, resting my head on his chest. I exhaled deeply as I finally conceded. “Look, I’ll try. It’s just going to take time for me, okay?”

  “Good. I’ll pick you up by noon.” He kissed me deeply. His tongue claimed mine and I pulled him closer, wanting more. Locked in his embrace, I found it easy to forget about everything other than the two of us together. That was one way to get through meeting his family. We could just make out the entire time.

  The next day I was in major freak-out mode. My room looked like a cyclone-induced wasteland with discarded clothes strewn everywhere. My door had a full-length mirror hanging on the back and today it seemed someone had secretly replaced it with a funhouse mirror. Nothing I tried on looked good. This had never been an issue for me before. The frustration of facing yet another thing that terrified me had taken its toll.

  Mom opened my door after knocking lightly. She found me sitting on the floor in the middle of a large pile of clothes, looking completely disheveled.

  “Mac, honey, is everything okay?” she asked carefully.

  “Oh, sure. I’m only supposed to meet my boyfriend’s family today. I look totally ready, don’t I?” An unexpected lump developed in my throat. I swallowed hard, refusing to cry in front of her.

  “Oh, sweetie,” she said, stepping through the clothes to join me. She plopped down and pulled me against her, rocking back and forth. “You are a wonderful, beautiful girl. You have to know they will see that.”

  “So I keep hearing, but what if you and Daddy and even Bentley are wearing blinders? What if his family sees through me and they don’t approve? What does that mean for Bentley and me? Mom, I didn’t expect it to happen, but I really like him. I don’t want to lose him now,” I said, pouring out my guts.

  She pulled back and lifted my head to look in my eyes to make her point. “Mac, honey, there is nothing to see through. Who you are is what they will see, and that will be perfect because that is what you are,” she said, rubbing my shoulders. “As for Bentley, based on what I saw yesterday, that is a well-grounded young man. Your heart drew you to him for a reason, so believe in that.”

  “When did you start sounding like Dad?” I asked, rubbing my eyes, which had attempted to water up at her words.

  She hugged me again. “Yes, well, you can’t be married to someone for as long as your father and me and not expect something to rub off. Here, let me help you up and we’ll pick out something for you to wear.”

  We selected a cute pair of jeans and one of my favorite sweaters. It was light pink and softer than a baby’s blanket. Appropriate since that’s what I’d been acting like. I gave Mom another hug before heading to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

  When I returned, I was surprised to find that Mom had cleaned up the mess I left behind. All my clothes were either folded neatly or hanging in my closet. Since the accident, I had taken her for granted so much that I’d forgotten how much she had helped me in my recovery. I had spent so much time resenting her for only doing what she thought was best. Grabbing my purse, I exited my room before I could change my mind again, following the smell of coffee and bacon coming from the kitchen.

  Mom was sitting at the counter sipping coffee when I entered the pristine kitchen. My mouth drooped with disappointment. It served me right for waiting until after eleven to join the living. At least there was still coffee in the pot. “Don’t you look nice,” Mom said, winking at me. “Your breakfast is in the microwave.”

  “Bless you.” I opened the microwave and sniffed appreciatively. I put a small piece of bacon into my mouth before closing the door again to reheat the food. While my breakfast warmed up, I grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee.

  “How did you sleep, by the way?” Mom asked as I joined her at the counter a few minutes later with my plate and coffee cup in hand.

  “Okay, considering what I have in store today. Regardless, it’s nice to sleep on my nice queen bed. My bed in the dorms isn’t bad, but it’s not a pillow top.”

  “Yeah, I remember hating my bed when I went to college. I think they make them small on purpose. No reason to encourage extracurricular activities,” she said, shooting me a knowing look.

  “Subtle, Mom. Just when I thought you were sounding too much like Dad, the old Mom I know and love comes back with a vengeance.”

  “It didn’t escape my notice that you and your young man seemed quite serious last night.” She sipped her coffee, looking at me over the top of her mug.

  “Me and my young man? How old are you again?” I asked, trying to make a joke of the situation.

  Mom didn’t smile as I nibbled on my bacon. “I’m just saying I want to make sure you two are being safe.”

  “And the size of my bed has some bearing on us being safe?”

  She sighed. “Are you two having sex?” she blurted out, making me choke on a sip of my coffee. She patted me on the back, trying to help clear my airway.

  “Um, that’s kind of personal,” I answered, shoving more bacon in my mouth.

  “Too personal for your mom? You’re still my little girl.”

  “Mom, I’m an adult. I can vote. I could defend our country in the military if I wanted. I’m on the verge of being able to legally drink. If I want to have sex, I can do it without discussing it with my mother.”

  “Are you being safe? That’s all I want to know,” she pressed.

  Now I remembered why we had butted heads so much in the past. Mom didn’t know how to back off until she got what she wanted. I silently collected myself, not wanting to ruin the morning by saying something I would regret later. “If Bentley and I chose to do anything, I would take care of it,” I told her flatly.

  “So you have protection?”

  “Mom. We are done discussing this.”

  “Honey, you can’t blame me for wanting to make sure you’re being smart.”

  “Well, I am, so don’t worry about it,” I said, ending the conversation. I returned to my breakfast, trying not to let myself get in a bad mood. Today would be stressful enough. “Where’s Dad?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “He went out to get a few things he saw in one of the ads.”

  I snorted. “Dad went Black Friday shopping? He hates shopping under normal circumstances.” I would have loved to be a fly on the wall, watching my dad navigate his way around stores on the worst nightmare of a shopping day of the year. Dad’s favorite saying when it came to shopping was “buzz in and buzz out.” I shook my head. By the way my parents had been acting the past couple of days, I was even more convinced they had been brainwashed. It was the only explanation for the strange behavior.

  She sighed. “I know, but he got suckered in. I’m expecting an SOS call at any time. What do you and Bentley have planned today?”

  “Well, meeting his family, of course. Thrilling,” I answered, shaking my head. “I think we’re going to a movie. Something like that.” I grimaced.

  “That sounds nice. Just remember to be yourself. You’ll be fine,” she mused, rising to rinse her coffee cup.

  I shrugged but didn’t answer.r />
  “Maybe now that you’re getting out more, you can visit other people,” she added, picking up my empty plate and carrying it to the sink.

  I rolled my eyes, surprised it took us this long to get here. Normally she started a conversation by pushing me to visit Tracey’s mom and everyone else I’d been avoiding for a year. “Maybe,” I said to pacify her.

  “When?”

  “Soon. Just not this weekend.”

  “That’s fine. Patricia and the boys are gone this weekend anyway, but she’ll be back next weekend.”

  “Maybe,” I answered, rinsing my cup. That was the best I could give her. I felt like I’d come a long way in the past few weeks. That didn’t mean I was ready to face the flood of bad memories that would come from seeing Patricia.

  “Okay.” She gave me hug, letting the subject drop. “When is Bentley picking you up?”

  “Soon. He should be here at any time as a matter of fact. Did you need anything?”

  “No, it’s nothing. I just bought a new puzzle and thought we could do it together. Oh, and this, too,” she said, holding up the box set of season one of Gilmore Girls.

  “Oh my God, I’ve wanted this forever,” I said excitedly, reaching for it. “It’s been ages since we’ve watched this.” Gilmore Girls used to be our thing. Not just Mom and me, but all the girls in our crew. When I was thirteen, Tracey, Jessica, Kat, and I, along with our moms, had become hooked after Jessica’s mom gave her the entire series for a Christmas gift. It became a Friday night ritual to binge on episodes and junk food. We all had our favorite characters, but in the end, everyone agreed we wanted more Luke and Lorelai.

  “Is it okay?” she asked, watching my face carefully.

  “It’s perfect. Can we watch it tomorrow?” I handed it over wistfully.

  “Sure, we’ll make a day of it. We can veg all day and make your father cook us tasty treats.”